The Story of Johnny Sidney, Police Detective is a radio play I did as a school project a million years ago.
So much of the past gets lost in the blur of Long Ago, but the making of this recording sparkles clear in my mind. I can remember writing much of it at Jack and Leslie’s first house—the one on North Street. Laura and I hung out there a lot in 1985, just one year before we got married. I wrote the script in two days (lightning fast for me), and I am pretty sure that I cribbed a few lines from something Lynn had written and passed on to me. Those lines ended up in the grocery store scene.
The dialogue was recorded at Guy Ackerman’s house in Hellertown, where he, Tommy Gilbert, and I were living … just after our Glory Years at the Hockey House. The entire “cast” sat in a circle on the living room floor, scripts in our laps, and I pointed the microphone toward whoever had dialogue. It was yet another goofy adventure, and you can be absolutely sure that I was mocked incessantly throughout the entire process. I recorded it using one of the school’s horrible microphones which was connected to an abused reel-to-reel tape recorder by a frayed audio cable. Barbaric.
Next I brought home a stack of five sound effects LPs—vinyl albums borrowed from school. (In 1985, CDs were still a year or two away.) There was an office in Guy’s basement, and I sequestered myself in it for a couple weeks—recording my narration, dubbing sound effects and music from vinyl to tape, and then editing and mixing everything together using a portable mixing board that was on its last legs. The mix-down ended up on another reel of audio tape, and then I used a razor blade and editing tape (what?) to cut the final show together. I still have the master tape. It sits in a box, mingling with my Super 8 epics.
I shake my head in amazement when I think of what it took to put this together in 1985: the hours I spent searching through the school’s sound effects library, pulling the vinyl album from its sleeve, putting it on the turntable, dropping the needle on countless tracks of door slams and footsteps and crunching noises; the begging of my friends to give up a few hours of their Wednesday night so I could embarrass us all by performing this silly story of mine; and the weeks I spent, late at night, alone—a microphone, turntable, mixing board, and tape recorder in front of me—cobbling together my story. (Whatever you do, David, do not screw up that razor-blade edit. In 1985 there is no undo.)
If I was making this today I wouldn’t have to get out of the chair in front of my computer. My friends could stay at home, record their lines on their phones, and email me the audio files. I’d Google “crunching bones sound effect” and have the pick of hundreds of files. In post-production, I’d listen and re-listen to the pause between the end of the chorus of “Someone To Watch Over Me” and the next line of dialogue—and I’d adjust the edit, frame by frame, until the timing was perfect. The fidelity would be impeccable. And I’d be done in the blink of an eye.
But something would be missing.
When I listen to this today, I hear dialogue that’s overpowered by improperly mixed music, footsteps that are not-quite-at-running-speed when they should be, and degraded audio quality that comes from dubbing to second and third generation audio tapes. And I love it. The imperfection of it all brings it to life and makes it real.
Beyond that, however, what I hear today are the young voices that call out to me from 1985. Voices that bring me back to that vivid snapshot in time. Voices that remind me that some of the best times of our lives are just goofy adventures, and if it takes a little hard work to make them happen, then so much the better.
The Story of Johnny Sidney, Police Detective (1985)
Written and Produced by David Beedle
Featuring The Club Stella Players
Guy Ackerman – Johnny Sidney
David Beedle – Lanier
Tommy Gilbert – Weasle
Jack Keefe – Larry Luzinski
Donna Gilbert – Millie
Leslie Keefe – Arlene
Add Comment