I don’t know about everyone else, but after all this is over I’m gonna be SET. I’m sending in my Publisher’s Clearing House form and it CLEARLY STATES that I am in the WINNING RANGE. It says it RIGHT ON THE FORM: This could finally be MY TIME to win. It must be true. Why would they lie to me?
Very exciting. All my dreams will be realized. And I’m not gonna Jeff Bezos this sh#t.* Oh, no. This rich guy is going to share all his winnings with you.
* A little bit about Jeff Bezos, the magnanimous and generous CEO of Amazon: As of today his net worth is $117 trillion. (Way to go, Jeff!) Yesterday, he donated $100 million to food banks struggling to meet the need brought on during this crisis. (You’re the man, Jeff!) To our man Jeff, $100 million is like someone who’s net worth is $175,000 donating a whopping 128 dollars. That’s $12.40 a month. (Hang on. How much is my Amazon Prime subscription?)
Don’t worry about Jeff, though. He still has $116,900,000,000 left.
David, this makes me feel so good too. This information helps me put into perspective the letter I got from the NHL saying I was in “hockey range” for getting into the league. Also thank you for putting Jeff Bezos into clearer focus. As for Jeff are his contributions to charity philanthropy, or are they atonement?
I also learned that there is a direct correlation between a youth hockey parent thinking their child was going to the NHL and the scant possibility of winning the $125 million Powerball jackpot. Stay safe, brother!
It’s tax deductible.
Wow how did you do that math. Trillion? Mom dutifully filled out those publisher clearing house things. Making sure, of course, that she didn’t have to buy anything. She was the most patient person. She’d smile when she’d get the “your name is in the group who may win”.
But Dad filled them out too❤️
Please keep sending stories. And novels.
Helen, I actually made myself a little spreadsheet the last time I saw a super-rich person donate something. I just kept wondering, how much money is that to them, really? So now whenever I see news item with a big donation I plug it into my “How Rich” spreadsheet to get a little perspective.
I love getting that Publishers Clearing House envelope. It’s just so goofy.
Working on a new story now. Novels? Good god, they take years.
We are destined to be winners. I LOVE mailing the entries imagining what life would be like. It is a game with endless possibilities (and lasts a long time – like a game of Monopoly). Delusion and hope may be closer than I think.
P.S. Jeff Bezos better not be answering the door when Publisher’s Clearing House rings the bell.
You mean Jeff Bozos? I have a theory that Amazon Prime is spreading the virus with their deliveries. Eh?