I wrote this right after a Flyers playoff game. They lost on “Honor Ed Snider” night, and a few knuckleheads through the giveaway light-up bracelets after the game. It was yet another Philadelphia fans suck moment. I was irked that there wasn’t anything said about the huge majority of individuals at that game that weren’t big stupid morons.
Imagine you went to a party …
… It was going to be a good one, too. You heard it was going to be crowded, and you were right. Almost 200 people showed up. The place was packed. Good thing they had enough beer.
The best thing, though, was that your favorite band, Coolest Band Ever, played. You thought they broke up, but they were BACK! They started off with their best stuff, and they were rocking. Then everybody kind of noticed they must not have been practicing the new stuff, because after two or three of their go-to classics, the rest of their stuff pretty much sucked balls. They hadn’t be practicing or something and they were pretty much dreadful to listen to.
Too bad. You’ve liked these guys for a long time. Too bad they weren’t prepared for the gig.
Still, it kind of pissed you off that they sucked.
Then, some shithead threw a Solo Cup that he had just drained of his sixth helping of Old Milwaukee on stage. What the fuck! “Hey, shithead! Knock it the fuck off!” All your buddies were yelling at the shithead, too.
Then it turned out there was a guy from PodunkDaily.com there, and he was writing an article about the band. But holy crap … the throwing stuff on stage angle was going to get more eyes on his article, so that’s what he wrote about. And he had his iPhone, obviously, and there you are, in the shot, looking bummed out, above the caption that reads, “Coolest Band Ever Not So Cool – Audience Trashes Stage.”
There were over 19,000 fans at the Flyers game last night. The Flyers said they picked up 100 of those giveaway bracelets. That equals that one guy at your party. Fuck him. That guy is a shithead and will always be a shithead.
Don’t lump me in with that idiot.
Oh, and by the way, I’ve been to a ton of parties and I’ve seen Coolest Band Ever hundreds of times, and no one ever threw anything on stage before.
So shut up.